Journal

How would you describe where you’re at now in recovery?

I’m at a place in recovery where I always hoped I would be but wasn’t sure I would ever get to. I feel at peace with my body, food and exercise and feel so grateful for my body and all the amazing things it allows me to.

Do you believe full recovery is possible?

Yes! While I still struggle with my body image on occasion, I’ve achieved food freedom and no longer constantly think about food, my body and...

How would you describe where you’re at now in recovery?

Right now, I feel as though I am as close to recovery as I have been in the past 10 years. Even though I still have eating disorder controlled or centred behaviours, they feel manageable. It feels as though I could sustain these behaviours as I am still enjoying my life and feel much less controlled by these behaviours. This isn’t true recovery for me though. I know I still have to continue to recover but I know I am...

How would you describe where you’re at now?

I am living an amazing, mostly very happy life! I adore food, in a way I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have. I feel safe and loving in my body, I see food as healing and joyful instead of scary and powerful. I still absolutely have days where things are harder than usual, but food doesn’t play a role in that anymore, and food doesn’t have power over me anymore.

What are three things you have learned about...

How would you describe where you’re at now in recovery?

Recovery for me now is generally just a part of my life now. Overall it’s not so hairy, scary or confronting (although there are hard days, yet this is the case for anyone, whether they suffer an eating disorder, another mental health disorder, or are just human because we all feel emotions!) Recovery for me now is challenging negative thoughts, defying them and acknowledging them, yet letting them have no power over...

Recovering inspiration Taya was generous enough to reflect on some of her recovery experience with me in the hopes her words might support someone struggling in recovery right now.

How would you describe where you’re at now in recovery?

I wouldn’t consider myself fully recovered but I am in a place where I am comfortable with all aspects of life and I am comfortable with the way I look

What are three things you have learned about yourself/the world in recovery?

It is ok to...

Over the year we’ve been sharing stories of mental health and recovery from our community. Here we share the beautiful reflections of Rachael, who was brave enough to contribute her story to this project. Thank you Rachael.

What do you wish to share about your mental health journey?

I have experienced an eating disorder, anxiety and depression to many variable degrees throughout different periods of my life. I want to share snippets of my journey with people, and in particular...

Whilst a technical text might be translated from one language to another quite functionally, poetry rarely survives such conversation. The practice of psy is a marriage of science and art. Whilst we can converse from alternate paradigms on the absolutes of research and dichotomous outcomes, attempting to alter the poetry of our practice into the dominant discourse is problematic. It is the cost of this Teaching Critical Psychology (Ed. C. Newnes and L. Golding, 2018) calls into...

There are a lot of different terms used in relation to eating, disordered eating and eating in recovery. Often, they are used synonymously but they don’t always actually mean the same thing. Sometimes it can be helpful to appreciate the different meaning because they will speak to different stages of behaviour and readiness.

All the following approaches to eating may be the best choice at a different point in recovery – there is no one that trumps another. There is also...

This time of year can be exciting, overwhelming and sometimes really confronting. With increased pace, sense of social expectations along with the seasonal, unhelpful ideas about food and body on offer in abundance, it is easy to feel yourself unravelling from the wellbeing you might have worked hard to establish during the year.

Saying no, finding balance, accepting imperfection and being willing to be different in your approach is not easy for many people. If you are more sensitive,...

Of all the themes I’ve seen most consistently in practice, guilt and shame are definitely among the most common. These insidious, powerful, lurking ideas can colour one’s identity and view of the world in really limiting ways.

For many people going through a self-reflective process like engaging in psychotherapy, shame is a theme that unveils itself in many layers, often over many years, and its complexity and potential dominance over our personality and self-expression...

There is growing awareness of the concept of being ‘triggered’, along with a growing sensitivity for protecting people from experiencing this if they are in a vulnerable state.

‘Trigger’ is a term in mental health that essentially refers to a sensory event which catalyses a traumatic response. A trigger happens very quickly and the person experiencing it has almost no control of their reaction. For example, a loud sudden noise for someone who has a traumatic...

In our bigger, better, faster world, we tend to focus on seeking beginnings. We look for how to bring more into our lives; perhaps try to gain more friends, work opportunities and even money and possessions. But if we keep gaining without releasing we end up feeling overwhelmed and stuck. We have more than we can use and might become burdened with the attention all these functions in our life demand.

I once heard the idea of throwing out a piece of clothing you no longer wear, before...

Sensitivity is the ability to detect internal and external qualities with above-average perception. Sensitive people are strongly empathic, and pick up on others’ moods easily. They may also be sensitive in other areas of interaction with the world, perhaps noticing their response to their environment is more amplified than their peers.

Sensitivity is a beautiful quality for someone to hold. When balanced with good boundaries and self-esteem, sensitivity is a superpower! Just...

There has been increasing awareness on the benefits of mindfulness. Indeed, the practice of mindfulness has much to offer including improved concentration, management of stress and anxiety, improved quality of relationships…the list goes on!

However, I have noticed how, like so many other offerings to improve our quality of life, mindfulness practice has so easily become another to-do on our life lists. For those amongst us prone to perfectionism and perhaps with an overly...

As published in Project HEAL Syd. Newsletter.

Most days, I talk with people who have experienced disordered eating. One of my favourite things in the world is having these conversations and working with someone to craft a way of being in the world which liberates them from ill serving self-concepts. Leading up to the festive season I have noticed a turn in these conversations. Sometimes a sense of a looming dread clouds over our dialogue as fears beguile a catastrophisation of the very...

The nature of eating disorders is a complex issue lacking clarity in academic and clinical understanding. Although the medical model predominates in diagnosis (Papathomas & Lavelle, 2012) other models of self and subjectivity may contribute usefully to the understanding and treatment of eating disorders (White, 2011).  There may indeed be a metaphoric link between indigestible social discourses (Papathomas & Lavelle, 2013) and eating disorders. The research project, Eaten...

Eaten Stories Untold (ESU) is a research project interested in how those experiencing disordered eating tell their stories. Valuing the lived experience of disordered eating, I collected a series of electronically submitted texts written by participants, in response to a key set of words about their experience. The writing is to be reviewed through the methodological framework of discourse analysis, with an interpretive framework of narrative theory. 

The aim of this project is to...

Often over-thinking is experienced by those going through eating disorders, and/or anxiety symptoms. Almost by definition of these disorders there must be a strong level of cognitive over-activity. Thoughts can become so entrenched they feel like facts. They aren’t ever disputed, but form rigid rivulets in our thinking stream. From this automation we are puppetted by a creation of our own making. Albeit unwittingly. 

Body sensations and experience often isn’t in...

We are hardwired to contract our muscles, release adrenaline and fire up our central nervous system when we perceive danger = our fight or flight response. But when not living in situations of great physical danger as our ancestors once may have, these responses are most often unhelpful to us now. However in spite of this not only does fight or flight remain as our go-to when perceiving any sense of danger, threat or discomfort, for so many it is just a permanent state of...

The experience of an eating disorder can be dualistic, a sense of opposing selves and values. So often for someone experiencing an eating disorder or disordered eating there is a sense of fragmented self. A sense of holding more than one view, wish and desire within life. The stress of a dichotomy between these opposites can dissolve any sense of internal trust and knowing. As if the very nucleus of that individual’s being is stretched in an internal tug-of-war.

Self-compassion...