Sensitivity is the ability to detect internal and external qualities with above-average perception. Sensitive people are strongly empathic, and pick up on others’ moods easily. They may also be sensitive in other areas of interaction with the world, perhaps noticing their response to their environment is more amplified than their peers.

Sensitivity is a beautiful quality for someone to hold. When balanced with good boundaries and self-esteem, sensitivity is a superpower! Just like having a very well developed sense of smell or hearing, people with high sensitivity have an advanced development in a perception skill that can serve them well in life. Sensitivity is a pillar of emotional intelligence. It is part of the information collection component of emotional intelligence. Being able to detect others’ feelings, needs and unspoken communication is indeed a very valuable skills set to behold!

Sadly though, sensitivity is sometimes misinterpreted and can be seen as a negative quality, perhaps even one that should be overcome.

Often we hear people say ‘don’t be so sensitive’, when what they mean is ‘don’t take it personally.’ However, there is an important distinction between these concepts. One benefits from self-work and one is there to be celebrated.

What people usually mean when they criticise someone for their sensitivity, is that they have observed that person introjecting feedback that wasn’t meant for them. That is the trouble with sensitivity, if it isn’t connected to boundaries and self-esteem, it can lead to discolouring the lens with which we see the world. When this happens, sensitive people might own more responsibility than is rightfully theirs, or inaccurately take evidence of being disliked or not-good-enough.

For example, if a sensitive person without strong self-esteem and boundaries picked up that a close friend was increasingly quieter when they caught up, seemed less interested in asking about their life and didn’t offer affirmation when the sensitive person might have hoped for it, the sensitive person might walk away feeling like there was clear evidence their friend didn’t like them anymore, and that they were generally not-good-enough as a person. This is where the friend, if they learned of this interpretation, might say ‘it’s not about you – don’t be so sensitive!’ But it wasn’t really the sensitivity that lead to miscommunication. It was the process of introjection – making something ours that actually doesn’t belong to us. Sensitivity itself doesn’t mislead us, but it does amplify all communication. So if you are already on alert for rejection from the world, sensitivity can make some suggestions seem more meaningful then they may actually be.

Sensitivity is something the world needs a lot more of. It is very hard to learn, and such a gift to be born with. If you have sensitivity as one of your powers, celebrate it! It will likely be one of the things that makes you so special and brings an awareness to all you do in the world that people will feel and be attracted to. Just be sure to take really good care of yourself. Balance your sensitivity with strong self-esteem, and practice good boundaries with other peoples’ emotions. Your sensitivity is like a magical instrument that needs to be tended to, cared for and rested to maintain quality condition. If you use it well, it will help you live your best life.